Down, Down, Down
I'z just gotta say... I love me some Lupees! Have you noticed that demand is down? Our long-term strategy is working. Lupee and I are systematically organizing all the employees. This will of course ratchet up wages for everyone, costs that we can easily pass along to all of our customers. After all, we are profitable, building more buildings, expanding internationally, and ordering billions and billions worth of airplanes.
We have been told that demand is down because of the weather, but Lupee, Bend Over, and all of us die-hards know better. It's down because our prices are way, way, up! Traveling on first class from coast-to-coast is the way to go. Cheap charter is plentiful and saves the corporations millions each year. And we are so awesome, everyone remembers us! See http://bit.ly/Iuwk4X Could it be the refresher in picket signology that we gave the competition? http://j.mp/KunXF7
Yes! Things we do in public can benefit the competition and lower demand! Mad genius!
The best is yet to come. Lupee's strategy of scaring the @#$% out of the COMPANY is working! I am SURE they are going to extend the contract and our strategy of organizing the pilots in Europe is working. I am told that the customers in Europe are plentiful and the prices are low, so the Europeans will fund our pay raises! Also, since the contract will be extended for sure, we will not have to worry about the scope loophole where international flying could be performed by international pilots like the Europeans. Those pilots will be so grateful for our help, the last thing they will want to do is have a crew base in LAX or JFK, right? I can tell that the 30 of us who DNF, write up airplanes that are good, and control the echo chamber, are truly scaring the pants off of the COMPANY and they will extend the contract for SURE!!! Who would want to bargain with us? We're foamin' at the mouth, cartoon t-shit weain' mother-%^&ers! Don't mess with us!!!
I can't believe I was so wrong for so long. Will my feathered friends forgive me? That $150k a year is burning a hole in my pocket. The four 28-day vacations I get a year is not enough! My 50% 401(k) match and 5000 mutual funds to choose from is totally outrageous. The one pilot who was fired for fraud in the last 18 months is a disturbing trend in oppression that we simply cannot tolerate! I am ready for war. The current pay is a slap in the face insult. I can wait them out. Hand me a picket sign and a furlough notice because I can replace my income and my seniority in 10, 15 short years, tops!
There, I feel much better. Stay the course, chaps. Whatever may happen, do not change horses now.
Luppes4Ever! Lupees4Ever! Lupees4Ever! Get a CLUE - wait, never mind, we have a CLUE. Nice job.
#Meow! #NamNamNamNamNamYum!
- LQSG
